2019，如何成就一个更好的自己

illustrations by ruohan wang

as we look back on the mania that was 2018, one thing is clear: we can do better! enter our annual guide to the lessons we learned, based on which styles stories you read most this year, and see how to put them to use in 2019.

在我们回望2018这一狂躁之年的同时，有一件事很清楚：我们可以做得更好!进入我们每年总结出来的经验教训，看看该如何在2019年学以致用吧!这些都是根据今年最受读者欢迎的风尚版文章总结出来的。

illustrations by ruohan wang

1. do it.去做

a recurring theme each year is that sex is important and we should all try to have it*. in a much-read modern love, karin jones shares what she learned by having affairs with married men: “what surprised me was that these husbands weren’t looking to have more sex. they were looking to have any sex.”

每年都会反复出现一个主题，那就是性很重要，我们都应该努力有性生活*。在一篇阅读量很高的“摩登情爱“(modern love)文章中，卡琳·琼斯(karin jones)分享了她与已婚男子偷情所学到的：“让我吃惊的是，这些丈夫并不是想要更多的性生活，他们只是想要有性生活。”

which isn’t to suggest that if you don’t have sex your partner will cheat, but just to confirm what we all basically know: sex is good for humans (and their relationships).

这不是说如果没有性生活的话，你的伴侣就会出轨，只是在确认我们都基本已经知道的东西：性对人类有益(也对感情关系有益)。

2. ask people about themselves.问问别人关于他们自己的事情

when talking to people irl, take a tip from “fresh air” host terry gross and open with her preferred icebreaker: “tell me about yourself.”

当你在现实生活中与他人聊天时，采取一下“新鲜空气“(fresh air)节目主持人特里·格罗斯(terry gross)的小建议，用她喜欢的开场白打破僵局：“给我讲讲你的事吧。”

3. less news = more happy.更少新闻=更多快乐

an ohio man named erik hagerman took the idea of a news blackout to the extreme — he had avoided all of it since the 2016 election — but, as a result, he may be the one person on earth in 2018 who could say, “i’m emotionally healthier than i’ve ever felt.”

一位名叫埃里克·哈格曼(erik hagerman)的男子将*消息的概念发挥到了极致——自从2016年大选后，他就完全没看过新闻了——但结果是，他可能是2018年地球上唯一一个可以说“我的情绪感觉比以往任何时候都更健康“的人。

while his approach is afforded by privilege and may even be morally questionable, as many pointed out, it could be healthy to limit your news consumption just a little. even an annoyed friend of mr. hagerman, who had been banned from talking news in his presence, acknowledged, “it’s actually nice to not talk about politics.”

尽管他是因为有特权，才能过上这种日子，而就像很多人指出的那样，这种方式可能甚至在道德上存在问题，但略加限制你接收的新闻数量可能是一件有益健康的事情。只要有哈克曼在场，他的一位朋友就被禁止谈论新闻，这惹恼了他的这位朋友，但即使是他也承认，“不谈政治其实挺好的。”

4. consider cbd?考虑使用大麻二酚(cbd)?

things are looking good for cbd. this summer, the food and drug administration approved a cbd-based drug for the first time, and a prominent researcher at n.y.u. school of medicine called cbd “the most promising drug that has come out for neuropsychiatric diseases in the last 50 years.” mandy moore is using it! cbd, or cannabidiol, is a chemical found abundantly in the cannabis plant and may help treat illnesses, including parkinson’s, epilepsy and cancer, as well as insomnia and anxiety.

大麻二酚的形势很乐观。今年夏天，美国食品和药物管理局(food and drug administration)首次批准了一款基于cbd的药物，并且纽约大学医学院(n.y.u. school of medicine)的一位著名研究员将大麻二酚称为“过去50年来，针对神经精神疾病最有前途的药物出炉了“。曼迪·摩尔(mandy moore)在使用它!全称为“cannabidiol”的大麻二酚是大麻植物所富含的一种化学物质，可能可以帮助治疗各种疾病，包括帕金森、癫痫及癌症，还有失眠和焦虑。

5. hide the phones.藏起手机

we’re all getting wise to the harmful effects of screens, but what’s surprising — and not a great sign — is that the people responsible for the gadgets and how they are used are keeping them far away from their own kids. in silicon valley, children are being asked to rediscover card games, board games and the outdoors. maybe the rest of us should, too.

我们都知道了屏幕的害处，但令人惊讶的是——而且这不是一个好迹象——制造出这些设备、发明出如何使用它们的那些人，却让自己的孩子远离这些设备。在硅谷，孩子们被要求重新发现纸牌游戏、棋类游戏和户外活动的乐趣。也许我们其他人也该这么做。

6. watch your spending.留意你的开支

people in the fire (financial independence, retire early) movement are devoted to living frugally and investing their cost savings so they can stop working in their 30s or 40s. even if you’re not ready to adopt all their tenets, cutting some spending (if you’re able to) can always help.

参与“fire”(经济独立、早早退休[financial independence, retire early])运动的人致力于过节俭的生活，并把节省下来的花销用于投资，这样他们就可以在30或40多岁的时候退休了。即便你还没有准备好全面采纳他们的信条，削减一些开支(如果能的话)总是有帮助的。

7. be wary of the so-called wellness gurus.警惕所谓的健康专家

while the pursuit of wellness is more important than ever, beware the snake oil salespeople peddling elixirs like charcoal and supplements and grounding bedsheets, cautions dr. jen gunter. focus on the tried-and-true self-care methods: sleep, exercise and science.

(除了这位作者)珍·甘特(jen gunter)博士提醒我们，虽然如今追求健康前所未有地重要，但要警惕兜售木炭、膳食补充剂和铺地床单之类万能药的“蛇油商“。主要关注已证明行之有效的自我护理方法：睡眠、锻炼和科学。

8. as always, dress for joy.一如既往，穿出喜悦

and not by the meaningless dictates of your age. “wear what you like,” urged dorrie jacobson, 84, who is doing just that and documenting it on her instagram account @seniorstylebible. “age-appropriate has nothing to do with it.”

而不是毫无意义地听命于你的年龄。“穿你喜欢的，“84岁的多丽·杰克布森(dorrie jacobson)呼吁，她现在就是这么做的，并记录在她的instagram账号@seniorstylebible 上。“这和与年龄相衬没什么关系。“

9. embrace your nocturnal tendencies.拥抱你的夜猫子倾向

or at least find a job that has flexible work hours, which an increasing number of companies do. the paradigm of success seems to be shifting from the early riser who gets to the office before everyone else to “late-night coders, digital nomads, freelance moguls and co-working entrepreneurs,” alex williams wrote (probably late at night).

或者至少找一份有弹性工作时间的工作，越来越多的企业都有。成功的范式似乎正从到公司比谁都早的早鸟模式转为“深夜程序师、数字游民、*职业大鳄和共用工作空间的创业者，“亚历克斯·威廉姆斯(alex williams)写道(很可能是在深夜)。

recent data support his hypothesis that night owls aren’t total disasters: some studies suggest that they take more risks and may even be more intelligent.

近期的数据支持他关于夜猫子并非一无是处的假设：一些研究显示，他们能承受更多风险，甚至可能更聪明。

10. therapy usually helps.治疗通常有帮助

when all else fails, seek someone whose job it is to help you not fail. the advice given by the professional advice givers cheryl strayed and steve almond often came back to the same recommendation: sometimes a therapist can best help you in the long-term.

如果其它尝试都失败了，找一个本职就是帮助你不要失败的人。专业咨询师谢丽尔·史翠德(cheryl strayed)和史蒂夫·阿尔蒙德(steve almond)给出的建议往往回到同一条推荐理由：从长远来看，有时候治疗师能给你最好的帮助。

11. take back your time.拿回你的时间

life is a crush of requests, both professional and personal. you must be the keeper of your time and allow yourself to say no more often. if you don’t, you may burn out and come to hate everything and everyone, including your friends and family and the things formerly known as “fun.” don’t let that happen to you in 2019.

生活就是一群蜂拥而至的要求，包括职业上的和个人的。你必须做你时间的守卫，允许自己更多地说不。否则，你可能会被耗尽，以至于厌恶所有的人和事，包括你的朋友、家人和以往称之为“有趣“的事情。2019年，别再让这样的事发生了。

作者：anya strzemien

翻译：安妮、李建芳