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Need a rest, please do not bother me 我想静静,别问我静静

程序员文章站 2022-03-30 12:38:33
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Today, I got stopped at the bank by security for carrying a weapon and threatened to call the police. I had to prove my “metal stick” was not a weapon. I am partially paralyzed in one of my feet and have to walk with a cane. FML
前两天脚坏了,最近拄着根拐杖,此为前提,结果今天去银行的时候,银行保安不让我进,非得让老子证明我的拐杖不是武器,不然就报警。 FML

Today, the new security guard of my apartment building tackled me for "suspicious behavior" while I was taking a bag full of dirty kitty litter to the trash chute. He broke my arm and cause the trash bag to explode. When I got back from the hospital, I was fined for littering in the hallway. FML
心好累,作为一名优秀的铲屎官,老子今天去倒猫砂(你懂的,都是猫拉的屎),结果我们大楼一个新来的保安duang就把我给扑地上了(老子长得特像*?),结果我的胳膊擦坏了,猫砂撒了一地。然而这不是重点,重点是等我从医院包扎好回来的时候,居然被物业罚款,理由是乱扔垃圾。。。FML

Today, same as every other day, I had to pick up around 8 spoons because my cats love to take them and drop them on the floor around my house so they can listen to the noise. FML
最近我们家猫不知道怎么了,突然喜欢听汤匙掉在地上的那种叮当乱响的声音,到目前为止我已经从我们家的客厅厨房和大门口分别找到8个汤匙了。FML

oday, I was studying when a tremendous crash of glass sounded from the other room. Was it a burglar? Nope. The cat had tried to jump from the kitchen table to the top of the cabinet, missed, and slammed into the cabinet's glass door. FML
在屋里看书呢,突然厨房咣的一声,我以为进贼了呢,结果去厨房一看我们家的猫一脸懵逼地躺在地上,丫想从吃饭的桌子上跳到碗柜上面去,结果直接撞到碗柜的门上了。FML

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原文地址:[ 米国囧事 ] http://www.shitmylife.cn/subject/info/15
相关标签: 笑话